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Oblongs - What They're All About
As fabulous as the prizes are in pooclub, the most covetted
accolade is the oblong.
Oblongs are awarded by pooclubbers to fellow pooclubbers
for things such as
a) winning a competition
2) making a great contribution to a feature
iii) recompense for an indiscretion
four) or simply as a sign of appreciation for a good poomail well written
Here's how it works:
- At the beginning of each week, you're given a bag of five oblongs
which you may hand out to other members for any reason whatsoever.
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The given oblongs are displayed in the oblong trophy cabinet
for all to see and marvel at, and for you to feel right proud about
and chuffed that your peers hold you in such esteem.
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Any oblongs that are left in your bag at the end of the week
dissolve into goo and trickle away, and you get a fresh bag of
oblongs to hand out on Monday morning.
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If you hand out all the oblongs from your bag by the end of the week,
you will be rewarded with a 'Generosity Bonus' and gain one oblong
for the trophy cabinet.
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If you don't hand out any oblongs
during the week, you incur a 'Scrooge Penalty' lose an oblong
from the trophy cabinet.
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You can also fine other members for disreputable behaviour,
or any reason at all really, but you lose an oblong of your own
from the trophy cabinet for each oblong that you take away.
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Naturally, you can only fine other members if both you and
they have at least one oblong to lose.
(Both oblongs dissolve into goo.)
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Oblongs in the trophy cabinet do not dissolve into goo
and remain there week after week (unless they get fined).
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These oblongs should not be confused with
Today's Topic oblongs, Poochoonz oblongs, or PPOTD oblongs,
which are entirely different.
The Big Oblong
What is The Big Oblong?
That is the question that everybody is asking.
Well, The Big Oblong is about giving people control
of their own oblongs.
It is about empowering you, the public, to make your oblongs
work for you, and to reward those that manage their oblongs
wisely and help create a better oblong society.
It would be so easy just to let oblongs go out of control,
with pooclubbers accumulating them for no good reason
whatsoever.
So instead, we're giving those who have worked hard in
managing their oblongs a share of The Big Oblong.
Each year, there is a Big Oblong.
And as we know, oblongs have four Corners,
and we're going to give each of these Corners back to
you, the people.
Similarly, the year has four Corners, two at the equinoxes
and two at the solstices, and these equate to the Corners
of The Big Oblong.
On the Monday nearest to each of these Corners,
all the oblongs that everybody has accumulated are
obliterated and the oblonger who had the most oblongs
is hailed The Corner Champion
and wins a Corner of The Big Oblong.
In addition to this, the winner starts the next Corner
with three oblongs, the runner up two oblongs, and the
third place oblonger one oblong.
Everyone else starts off with no oblongs.
Why oblongs?
Oblongs were first awarded in our truimphant and popular
feature
PPOTD Bingo Bonanza
.
The idea was that as you won squares on the bingo card
your name went into the square to show that you'd won it.
Unfortunately, due to a quirk of HTML,
as soon as you inserted a name into a square,
it stretched it into an oblong.
However, this turned out not to be quite as bad as it
seemed as players actually quite liked the oblongs and
ended up pestering organisers of other features for
oblongs too.
Under massive public pressure, pooclub relented and provided
its members with the oblongs they so greatly craved.
Never let it be said that pooclub doesn't look after its members.
oblongs | the oblog | the big oblong | about oblongs
Other oblongs:
topic oblongs |
poochoonz oblongz |
ppotd oblongs
You can't make this stuff up, you know
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Wednesday
5
February
2025
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