I do enjoy a spot of verse to get me through the day,
But I like it to be funny, and most of it's just gay,
Most the so-called poets, they just make me feel irate,
They never write of toilets, or of how their tits are great.
I just don't care for Sylvia Plath,
Not once has her stuff made me laugh,
And Wordsworth's stuff was long and wordy,
Bereft of words like 'minge' and 'turdy',
And has there ever been less fun,
Than having to peruse John Donne?
Or read a verse by some Rossetti,
I'd rather suck on Mike's spaghetti.
And Keats's sonnets can fuck off,
And that Russian bloke who ends in ...ov,
And those other ones as well, they're shite,
No, That's just it, they're not. That would be alright.