There are certain things you simply should not
Picture in your head,
Like Pauline Quirk in her underwear,
Or the Queen and Prince Philip in bed.
Or men from a planet like Mars or the Moon,
Having a rave in your shed.
Or Esther Rantzen having a shag,
With a dwarf tossing bald man called Fred.
Or Mike in a bra with a man called Hose
On a beach in Brazil eating bread.
But certain things you kind of know,
They're plain for all to see,
Like just how nice I really am,
And how everyone should think about me!
Oh wonderful me! Fantabulous me!
What a beautious creature am I!
What better elation, than sweet contemplation
Of me, I'm so lovely You'll cry!
Just picture my face, and you'll feel your pulse race,
See my body you'll feel something squelch,
With my fabulous legs and my trim little ass,
And my tits which are like Raquel Welsh.
Just close your tired eyes,
And remember my thighs,
They're as lovely as lovely can be,
Yes why waste your time even reading this rhyme,
When you could sit there and think about me?
So put down your work stuff
And put up your feet
And give your tired brain cells
A lovely big treat,
EVERYBODY THINK ABOUT ME!!!