Historical Tributes
KATE
Hey Mike, did you realise we've been doing something which is an actual thing all along?
MIKE

You... you mean we didn't invent this idiom? I thought we'd created a whole new literary genre!
Still, I do have to say that I greatly admire the Descartes one. Imagine if we did Celebrity Tributes in his day - an ode like that would be a veritable jewel in our crown.
KATE
Indeed! Disappointed though I am by our lack of originality, it’s still reassuring to know there were others before us, otherwise loads of dead people would’ve missed out.
MIKE
Hey, perhaps we could do some historical ones? They could have their own page on Shitespace, and we can pretend that we wrote them just after their deaths.
How about this...?
Julius Caesar
Is now a dead geezer
Due to Bruté's démarche
On the Ides of March.
KATE
Jesus
Liked pizzas
But he died on the cross
So it's Papa John's loss
JOEL
Christ is dead
His body is bread
His followers schism
Over which has risen.
KATE
Cain (as in Abel)
Made me a table
He was a murdering sinner
But it's useful for dinner.
MIKE
The Prophet Muhammad
Has left the planet
But my little patois
Might land me a fatwa.
KATE
Charlie Chaplin
Bought his cables from
Maplin
But thanks to his expiration
They've gone into administration.
MIKE
Buddha
Could-a
Been reincarnated
But was annihilated.
KATE
Joan Of Arc
Enjoyed a good park
But she got burned at the stake
For fucks sake.