Shitespace - Recipes

Melon And Parma Ham Cunts


  • Cantaloupe melon
  • Parma ham
  • one grape
  • cress
Cut two slices of melon and place flat on a dish in an "O" shape. Fill the gap between the melon slices with strips of Parma ham, try to ruffle the ham up a bit rather than lying it flat. Place a grape at the far end of the melon gap. Surround the melon with cress.

Optional - for special occasions (say, once a month) cover the ham with raspberry syrup and decorate with a white candle (preferably with a long wick).

Owl Bhuna


  • 1 lb. owl pieces - bite sized
  • 1 large onion - chopped
  • 1 piece of fresh ginger (about 1") - chopped fine
  • 3 cloves of garlic- -crushed or chopped
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 3 cardamoms
  • 3 cloves
  • 3 black peppercorns
  • 1 tsp. Salt
  • 1 1/2 tsp.turmeric
  • 1 1/2 tsp.danea (ground coriander)
  • 1/4 tsp. geera (ground cumin)
  • 1/4 tsp. chilli powder
  • 1/4 tsp. curry powder
  • 1 tbsp. Oil
  • Fresh coriander
Fry the onions until soft, then add the garlic, ginger and salt. Brown the owl pieces and add to the onions, together with the cinnamon, peppercorns, cloves and cardamoms. Add 1/2 a cup of water, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Add all the remaining spices (except the coriander) and a little more water and simmer for a further 10 - 15 minutes until the owl is tender. Just before serving, stir in a handful of fresh, chopped coriander. Serve with Basmati rice and/or a crisp green salad

Alternative Option: If owl is unavailable a suitable substitute is chicken.



  • Figs
Serve figs.

Baked Bean And Lager Daiquiri


  • Tin baked beans
  • Can lager
  • White rum
  • Crushed ice
Bung it all in a tall glass and try and spruce it up a bit with a bendy straw.

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