Pooclub Guide

Cardinal Rule

There is only one rule in pooclub and it MUST be abided by at all times. The rule is this:

"No member shall ever accuse another member of eating processed cheese."

There are some very good reasons for this but they are too complex to go into right now. To be perfectly honest, we've actually forgotten what the reasons were but we do remember that they were very good ones, and the rule came about as a result of some unpleasantness that we'd rather not go through again.

Suffice it to say that it is imperative that you NEVER even hint that another pooclubber eats processed cheese.

The Pooclub Wales War

This was another unpleasant chapter in our history. In 2001 pooclub actually went to war with Wales. Like all wars it was inevitable, we tried our best to find a peaceful solution, but it transpired that the Welsh had had it coming for too long now and there's just so much Welshness that you can take from such a cruddy little principality.

Consequently we were left with no choice but to go to war with Wales. Although hostilities have ceased, peace has never been formally declared, nor has an outright winner been determined. Because of this, members must take utmost precaution if they ever have to visit Wales and should inform pooclub of any planned trips over the border so that if they fail to come back we can do something about it.

Or at least talk about doing something about it.

How To Laugh

Now, I can't believe we're having to tell you how to laugh. But it's true, we really have to do this!

This has come about because certain people have responded to funny poomails with "LOL" or "LMAO". Like, as if when someone tells you a joke you just sit there and say "lol"! Of course you don't. You go, "Ha ha ha hahah hahahahh ahahahhaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Say it as it is. If it's funny, why not let out a full blown belly laugh? Let everybody see your laughter - it scarcely takes a couple of seconds to type it out.

And if anyone dares to type in text-speak, be prepared to be torn to shreds. You're not a 14 year old schoolgirl. And if you are, go txt ur m8s, there's no place for you in pooclub.

Pooclub is a chat group. We endeavour to simulate real speech as closely as possible. Remember: say it as it is.

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Have fun!