Human Ruminants

Album cover of Pink Floyd's "The Wall"

"If you don't eat your meat you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"

I can scarcely believe that these words which appear on Pink Floyd's 1979 album "The Wall" have actually been used by myself to my own children. There are some very primal instincts at work when feeding one's children. One of the greatest joys there is is seeing your children eating well and enjoying their food. Conversely, children not eating well leads to frustration, anxiety and worry.

And it is important that your children eat a wide variety of things - they have to eat everything. If they eat all their meat but not their vegetables and ask for more meat, that is as equally as annoying as if they eat all their vegetables but not their meat and ask for more vegetables.

And of course I feel immensely guilty about making them eat something that they don't want to eat, but I am still compelled to do because it is in my instinct. Some chemical is secreted into my bloodstream that makes me behave this way.

But what is particularly unfair is that I know exactly what they feel like. Often I feel like one type of food and not another. Why is that? If I'm hungry it means my stomach is empty and I need to fill it. Why should I be fussy?

Or sometimes I need a variety of foods to satisy me. Just eating one particular type of food isn't going to be enough. Again, why is that?

The answer is that like cows and camels, humans have multiple stomachs. We are not true ruminants because we do not use our multiple stomachs for chewing the cud and we do not transfer food from one stomach to another.

Instead we have different stomachs for different food types. Meat, vegetables, sweets, drinks all go to different places. Doubtlessly you will have noticed that when you've stuffed yourself on a main course to the point that you can't eat any more, you can still manage a dessert. That's because your dessert stomach is still empty.

Or if you're feeling hungry for one particular type of food - it's because only one of your stomachs is empty. And how else can you explain the curious fact that however much food you eat, you can still drink. Lots!

Drinks don't even have the advantage that they can squash up small and therefore squeeze into your stomach. Look at the size of a pint of beer! You could be stuffed to the gills on food but that pint is still going to go down nice and easily, and plenty more thereafter. Drinks go to a stomach at the front that can extend outwards almost indefinitely.

The one thing I have yet to find an explanation for is why this information has been suppressed. Clearly, anyone in the medical profession has at some point of their education dissected a body and seen the true nature of our stomachs. So why the cover up?

Indeed, this matter now casts doubt upon anything else they've told us about our internal organs. Spleen? What's that then? Could it be that we are aliens and have taken over the bodies of the indiginous population of this planet? Or are we androids and deep inside us is all electronic components. Afterall, only doctors ever get to see what's really inside us, and consider this: how much of what a doctor has ever told you has actually made any sense to you?

Mike's Spot

• Global Investment Banks
• Conspiracy Theories
• The United States Of What?
• Planefall
• Second Place
• The Last Place You Look
• Regional Accents
• With Jesus On Your Side
• The Fiscal Theory Of Relativity
• The Eddie Stobart Principle
• Human Ruminants
• The Myth Of Lesbianism
• Pooclub - The Ultimate Truth

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