Soup Ladle Dream
Q	Kate:	Mike, Last night I had this dream that you were being paid 120k for being a doctor's accountant and I asked you to lend me 500,000 to buy one of the 4 biggest houses in the world (you said no). Then I bludgeoned Nathon to death with a soup ladle. What does it all mean? (Nathon has hidden our soup ladle now). K xx
A	Mike:	Hmmm, an interesting one, this one. Could be tricky but let's give it a go anyway. You obviously see me as someone who is in an important position - not so much in a career thing, but personally to you. The doctor's accountant is an interesting role for you are combining financial matters with health matters into one persona therefore seeking a solution to the things that are most important to you in one easily identifyable source. One thing that your dream fails to take account of is the fact that 120k isn't all that much money these days. Honestly, I'm really on my uppers at the moment and would be hard pressed to buy you a pint. Also, 500,000 isn't really going to buy you one of the 4 biggest houses in the world - you'd be lucky to get a 3 bedroom flat in Hackney for that. However, in Leeds, you could probably buy Woodhouse, Burley and half of Headingley for that money. I see this as a latent desire for you to take over Leeds. Having captured the hearts of minds of the good people of Leeds with your songs and poetry, you now wish to capture the actual lands and properties that comprise Leeds, and in order to achieve this you are prepared to murder your boyfriend and, worse still, borrow money off a friend. The soup ladle is particularly significant: an implement that is used to dole out soup to the hungry and impoverished is symbolic of your desire to take control of the population of Leeds and reward or punish them according to manner in which they receive your creative works. This is perfectly normal and is nothing to worrying about. These desires are quickly realised and you will soon be worshipped as the High Priestess of Leeds, a position which you justly deserve. I had a similar experience when I lived in Bradford. That's why it's now so full of curry houses.
	Joel:	Surely, as a doctor's accountant you are in no position to comment on people's dreams. This is not a 'normal' dream by any stretch of the imagination and takes in a greater scope than just the north of England. This is a prophecy from the great goddess Gogglemon and should not be taken too lightly. The sacred ladle of Bishmah signifies the nourishment of mankind and a forthcoming tide of wealth. The fact that Mike did not lend you the money is because he is not very generous (tight as a gnat's chuff in fact!) And the the whole death thing was so that you would remember the dream. Find the ladle and wave it high! The new dawn of opulence and general loveliness is upon us! We must find the ladle!!!

	Stumbleupon		Delicious		Reddit		Digg
	Facebook		Twatter		Bollocks		London Metropolitan Police