I like trees when I'm all trippy
I'll hug them like some Greenpeace hippie
I rub myself against the trunk
And leave behind a glob of spunk.
Best of all I like the oak
A woodpecker's hole is great to poke
Sometimes I will go for ash
But once I got a dreadful rash
Never again shall I try holly
That I found a foolish folly
The same applies to larch and pine
They really made me wince and whine
A fling I had with a sequoia
Left me suffering from paranoia
But then the comfort of a plane
Helped me become once more sane.
I had a period of monogamy
Faithful to just one mahogany
Then one day behind my back
She had the chopper of a lumberjack
So now I'll go for larch and elm
And all fine trees throughout the realm
And when my head is on my pillow
I sleep and dream a dream of willow.