Shitespace
Historical Tributes

KATE  
Hey Mike, did you realise we've been doing something which is an actual thing all along?


 

MIKE  
You... you mean we didn't invent this idiom? I thought we'd created a whole new literary genre!

Still, I do have to say that I greatly admire the Descartes one. Imagine if we did Celebrity Tributes in his day - an ode like that would be a veritable jewel in our crown.

KATE  
Indeed! Disappointed though I am by our lack of originality, it’s still reassuring to know there were others before us, otherwise loads of dead people would’ve missed out.
MIKE  
Hey, perhaps we could do some historical ones? They could have their own page on Shitespace, and we can pretend that we wrote them just after their deaths.

How about this...?


Julius Caesar
Is now a dead geezer
Due to Bruté's démarche
On the Ides of March.

KATE  

Jesus
Liked pizzas
But he died on the cross
So it's Papa John's loss

JOEL  
Christ is dead
His body is bread
His followers schism
Over which has risen.

KATE  

Cain (as in Abel)
Made me a table
He was a murdering sinner
But it's useful for dinner.

MIKE  

The Prophet Muhammad
Has left the planet
But my little patois
Might land me a fatwa.

KATE  

Charlie Chaplin
Bought his cables from Maplin
But thanks to his expiration
They've gone into administration.

MIKE  

Buddha
Could-a
Been reincarnated
But was annihilated.

KATE  

Joan Of Arc
Enjoyed a good park
But she got burned at the stake
For fucks sake.