Paris The Pilchard
Kate Rancid

Once upon a time there was a miniature pilchard called Paris. He came from a long generation of slow developers, which was lucky when he wanted to get into a very small hole.

One day Paris was drinking lemon tea when he suddenly noticed a peculiar coloured fungus behind the toaster. On closer inspection he found it to be a transfer which had somehow been placed there by an absent-minded biology professor. On finishing his elevenses, Paris embarked on a shopping spree. He purchased a very fetching umbrella but had a somewhat difficult time locating a pair of shoes in a matching shade of indigo.

He ate some toast and swam away to Portugal to work in a hamburger factory.


This is where we're going to put a load of adverts in the absurd belief that we might actually make a bit of money out of this site.