I have a special secret noise
I keep for special places,
Like in the queue at Marks and Sparks,
Or at some posh horse races,
Or quietly lying on the floor,
Whilst taking yoga class.
It's a kind of gentle parping noise,
But it's not from up my ass.
I sometimes hear it in the bath
Whilst washing down below,
And when I bend to pick up stuff
I know my noise will show.
Whilst sitting in a crowded hall
And taking an exam
My noise is bound to make a sound
To remind me where I am.
It isn't loud, it's quite discrete,
But listen and you'll hear it.
It's rather nice and very sweet,
You really should not fear it.
It happens when I'm lying down
And sometimes when I'm kneeling,
My little bubbly airy sound
With its bubbly airy feeling.
I love my lovely little noise,
I can do it on demand.
I can make it silent if I like,
Or loud as you can stand.
I just vibrate my beefy flaps
And then it's sure to flow,
That lovely little special noise
From out my cunt I blow.